He said he was old school while she was ‘the new age kid.’ He said she was a little stupid but nice; she said he was too nice and needed to be a little stupid at times. This was not a love story from the books but in a way it was very bookish. Opposites attract. The simple guy falls for the chirpy girl while the zealous girl likes the simplicity and hesitation that she thought all her male friends lacked.
They were friends, are friends. He knew her and the guy she was in love with – the college romance that had blossomed into destination living in. He also witnessed the ebbing away of love by long distance… And then they became animals of conversation. They would sit all night talking about purpose of life. Well a correction. She would rant all night. Asking questions and answering them and then analyzing, proving and questioning the proof. He just listened and then somewhere, the chatty voice slipped in with the sound of clock hands signalling time ticking away, stealing away the life. He sailed along.
She came at the time when he thought he was done with the craziness of craving and mushiness of someone’s presence. He found it amusing that he would behave the way he did. He was, very unexpectedly, feeling happy all the time. She knew the names of his childhood friends by now and he knew why her boss was a complete jerk.
She wasn’t a moon that couldn’t be reached. She was an address he never thought he would visit. She always told him she had seen the world which he would counter by saying that travelling didn’t necessarily mean being able to gauge the world. They became soul-mates, the kinds who could predict each other. He knew her to be the strongest woman but saw her do silliest things with him. She was a child when left alone. She fell back without needing any support, he kept on extending the company instead.
There was no specific reason apart from diametrically opposite lifestyle, religion, age, habits, clothes, cities, profession etc that would indicate they couldn’t be together. But they were practical people. Practical people do not complicate things. They have given in to silly whims in life already so they know when exactly to stop. They were practical to know they can’t always get what they want.They never yearned for what they need. They know its not right. They know if it doesn’t feel right, its not right. They become strong and paint their shells.
And then the time came. She wanted to float. She wanted to see the world. She decided to leave. He was happy because she was. That’s what she wanted. She wanted to dash out of her comfort zone. He didn’t understand why leave when you love a place. She acted smart saying how would I know I can love someplace else more. He didn’t know how to react. He always knew this day will come, in one way or the other.
This time the airport didn’t see a genuine kiss. It saw a pretentious nervous giggling of the one leaving and the confused melancholic smile of the one left behind. She knew she was going to miss him but had convinced herself that he was part of the environment she would miss. He knew he was going to miss her and knew she will meet new people in matter of days with her charming smile and child-like audacity to face the world. There was not even a regret of not telling it. They hardly confessed it to themselves. It was openly spoken how much they completed each other but never contested if they will be incomplete alone. As she moved in the crowd, she struggled if she should look back one last time or be strong and just move forward.
He didn’t stop for a moment after the last bye. He was superstitious. He didn’t want to see her go. They didn’t even promise to keep in touch, each aware of the bitch that life is. There was an iota of tears she shed and few angry honking at passers-by as he drove back. They didn’t know if they would undo it if given a chance. They just felt a void. Somewhere, each convinced each other that this shall pass. How could they have loved having each other around all life. The initial jitters wold have passed and then reality would have sunk in. Maybe it takes longer than a year.
He smiled the saddest smile as he parked the car and FM played her favorite song. Suddenly it was all about her for the last time. She would insist to hear the whole song and not leave the car. He did the same. And then he got down.World was the same but seemed less beautiful. Why had she spoken about the parking lot, elevators, corridors so much that everything was indeed about her. She was trying to think of him, looking at his messages. They knew they were best the human race can afford as being partners.But yet, no one spoke. And now they sit alone, neither regretting nor charged up to mitigate the risk. Deep inside, as he made his coffee for the first time in a year and as her plane taxied towards the runway they knew. This was it but not meant to be. Few stories are not meant to be told, just lived. He was scared that her leaving would have made him worse than what he was before she came. She was scared her sanity will be tossed around without him.
And eons will pass, they know. They will never be together but will never be able to forget…that they met real people who selflessly wanted to listen to each other all night. People who so badly wanted to stay with each other that they let one another go.
This entry was originally posted on April 10, 2014 in
https://opinioncircuitdotcom.wordpress.com/category/columnists/resident-editors/shweta-gautam/
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