I was not sure if it may be a good idea to pick on Feminism as a topic, especially after I try and recover from rustic jaws of no writing for a long time but I am doing it anyway. You rarely get a convincing idea when in a block so I won't let go of this beauty once it revealed itself. I was unsure because just like religion or LGBT and maybe Sex, this too is a taboo these days.
But I gave a minute to it and realized, it is actually akin to terms like 'gluten-free' or FOMO or maybe even 'Brexit' that everyone seems to be discussing, talking and having an opinion on but knows nothing about.
It hits you, just softly at first and then all out...and then some more... It's like the sandstorm you can't exactly miss noticing if you go out on a particularly windy day in Dubai. It may not be evident but it is everywhere, and it has seeped in our veins so much so that it has now probably surpassed weather and weekends to ace the title of best 'Small-talk' conversation.
What exactly is being a feminist? I am not sure. A simple search states "the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes." Now my problem is the deafening part where this advocacy goes on and on and on ad-nauseam. What is the whole point of advocating it because the very act diminishes the cause. I mean if women are equal sex and you truly believe so, then what is the point in trying to prove it day in day out?
I am not being naive, trust me. I am not even for a minute proposing the lack of need here. I know the major part of the world still lives in notion of men being superior. They may believe in it or in general grew up to be seasoned that way so even if they think otherwise, their instincts or reflexes suggest opposite. I am also not denying the subtle references we hear on regular basis that may prompt or even provoke us to seek an explanation. I am a woman and I feel it on regular basis. Just the last weekend we went for drinks and happen to capture a pool table at the bar. 30 minutes into the game, my friend says "you play well for a woman!"
It's not a big deal but just a small instance of the way world works. Today.
Can I deny that more men in general play pool? No. Can I deny that number of 'good' women pool players is much less than men? No. Does that mean women cant play pool well? No. Its just because it doesn't happen to be an area of women's choice at large hence such stats. I know him so I understand where he was coming from. I don't see a reason why things like these should be so important to women to fight till death or be ga-ga on. I of course picked on his statement and teased him!
Why and what are we trying to prove? Why are we going over-board to label all men chauvinist and anti-feminist. For that reason why are we going over-board to prove that we are Feminists? If truth is truth and nothing else but the truth then does it need unparalleled advocacy? If it indeed needs and I have been wandering in silos all my life, then is that really helping?
Why are we driving everything to an extent where we ourselves do not see merit of things and put a stereotypical labels and justify our stance. Women are equal. And they have been treated below par since the beginning. All right. To help this mismatch, they need to go full-throttle and be at par. Yeah maybe that is needed too...
It's like this if I try to explain what I am saying. Killing someone is bad, stealing is bad, cheating is bad. Do I need brownie points to be someone who does not kill or cheat or steal. Do I need to label myself as one and expect accolades for basic human trait I am supposed to carry. Why are people going all gung-ho then on proving that women are equal. All humans are equal, and hence women are equal too as they are human last I checked.
There is violence against women and infanticide and foeticide and preference of male child. There is no denying that. An average women is physically weaker and emotionally stronger than an average man, there is no denying that. Women are equal but they are not the same. We are different. We are biologically different. We think, feel, behave and respond differently.... We are equal in the mannerism of being treated the same, not being the same. If you are out there who believe so, just do a favor, be fair to people in life. All will fall in place then. Just stop making groups and tribes and labels to distinguish people based on a segment of your beliefs.
My problem and my point is that modern human race has developed a fallacy of being a victim when you can identify yourself with an oppressed categorization. My problem is that of the comfort zone of being a victim and demanding redemption and my problem is of undermining everyone who refuses to acknowledge the victim on grounds of populist culture.
I am a woman, I live alone, wander alone, work alone, survive alone. I have never felt I am doing a favor on anyone by doing so or felt any sense of achievement. That's what people do. They survive and they keep themselves strong to keep going. I am not entitled to anything by virtue of just this. I am doing myself a favor so its nothing to seek gratitude for. I'd hate to be 'cut-a-slack' on cards of being a social victim and I'd hate to be denied anything on basis of modern-age first-world fashion stances. I just demand to be respected and I ensure it and trust me, I would have said the same if I were a man!
If I go first I hold the door; I go second, I expect it to be held. No more and no less. Manners. Revert to what mom taught you.That is the right choice.
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