LDR is an acronym which is often dreaded by the angry birds uh i mean love birds. Long Distance Relationship. I am writing about it for two reasons. One I needed a break from my travelogues, two i realized it was a topic where each one is entitled to their opinion. Now don't get me wrong. frankly i am none to comment on it, or for that matter on long-short-medium whatever relations whatsoever. But as i said, opinion matters.
There are a dime a dozen stories of people falling apart when subjected to LDR's. Analyst in me says it must be at least 42% times the reason of why people separate. I have had, without being in one, two thoughts about it.
First was that why do people crib over LDR's or be sad? As in, the part of being away and all is understandable, my focus is on operational bit. It is so freaking easy to run a relation when one is separated. Couple of phone calls a day and you are sorted. I understand the relation will not move any further or grow in the life cycle, but it can certainly be just there. LDR is 'like inertia has been given, now unless resisted, it moves on.'
Then I realized the second part of it, this too is a positive, actually best part. There are various emotions behind a relationship- an LDR is testing water for all. i mean cummon, who could ever be sure about delicate emotions? Last night in a party at a friend's place, one of my colleague got drunk and started a round of question 'How many times have you been in love." Gosh. It was difficult to answer for most. Everyone was looking either ways and wondering if it was that easy to decide. Well That was fun sake, but still can you answer?
There is a conviction needed, to judge that. Convenience, routine, companionship, habit and best-fit-in-lot are one of hundred other wrong reasons why we have people in life. But just the way it happened in "Who moved my cheese," one would realize later about the true emotion. An initial phase is hunky dory which later takes a comfort corner of routine.
The test starts when the routine breaks. It might raise thousand eyebrows if I write it, but i firmly believe that it is love when nothing changes. I do not mean it in the poetic flowery language. The longing and yearning is all right but if your life goes on just the same and you still want that persona around, then there must be something. As in, not for the sake of companionship, which you may feel deprived of socially once the special someone is off, or for sake of routine time slot, or a habit, like that of a fag, which gives withdraw symptoms. It is worth it if you want someone not for all this but despite all this.
There are other natural tendencies which also get tested - time and mile tested. Like radioactivity,feelings decay, are unstable and over time, they fizz out. Of course they will fizz out, that's natural. One has to realize that they should not love for fizz but for the substance beneath. This is why people feel how things get hell-heaven different when phases and routines of life change. College sweetheart doesn't tempt enough in office and a boyfriend becomes alien when you move in together.
It happens because life and love is beyond good times, parties, lavish nights, and stretches to life with no makeup, tooth-pasted mornings and needs of daily existence. Spikes in relation are important and must be injected when needed. But never try to love someone on basis of spikes. People are normal humans, they will not stand below your balcony all night in rain with flowers in hand. It was done for a need. Don't base everything on aberration. Love the person beyond all that.
That ways LDR gives clear mind to think, feel and know what a person is to you. Does he/she have a place no one else can fill (okay cliched sentence) or was it out of a reversible impression which fades with time. Whatever it is, in real sense, LDR is good to judge the base of it. It will perish if it wasn't meant to be, and if it is, then you will be much more convinced about it. Its a fear as all verdicts are. LDR is almost like opening your case in court, you will lose or win, no more putting it on back burner.
Dude, heard of that one, no?
If you love something, set it free
if it comes back, its yours,
If it doesn't
it never was!
~from my favorite author Richard Bach
There are a dime a dozen stories of people falling apart when subjected to LDR's. Analyst in me says it must be at least 42% times the reason of why people separate. I have had, without being in one, two thoughts about it.
First was that why do people crib over LDR's or be sad? As in, the part of being away and all is understandable, my focus is on operational bit. It is so freaking easy to run a relation when one is separated. Couple of phone calls a day and you are sorted. I understand the relation will not move any further or grow in the life cycle, but it can certainly be just there. LDR is 'like inertia has been given, now unless resisted, it moves on.'
Then I realized the second part of it, this too is a positive, actually best part. There are various emotions behind a relationship- an LDR is testing water for all. i mean cummon, who could ever be sure about delicate emotions? Last night in a party at a friend's place, one of my colleague got drunk and started a round of question 'How many times have you been in love." Gosh. It was difficult to answer for most. Everyone was looking either ways and wondering if it was that easy to decide. Well That was fun sake, but still can you answer?
There is a conviction needed, to judge that. Convenience, routine, companionship, habit and best-fit-in-lot are one of hundred other wrong reasons why we have people in life. But just the way it happened in "Who moved my cheese," one would realize later about the true emotion. An initial phase is hunky dory which later takes a comfort corner of routine.
The test starts when the routine breaks. It might raise thousand eyebrows if I write it, but i firmly believe that it is love when nothing changes. I do not mean it in the poetic flowery language. The longing and yearning is all right but if your life goes on just the same and you still want that persona around, then there must be something. As in, not for the sake of companionship, which you may feel deprived of socially once the special someone is off, or for sake of routine time slot, or a habit, like that of a fag, which gives withdraw symptoms. It is worth it if you want someone not for all this but despite all this.
There are other natural tendencies which also get tested - time and mile tested. Like radioactivity,feelings decay, are unstable and over time, they fizz out. Of course they will fizz out, that's natural. One has to realize that they should not love for fizz but for the substance beneath. This is why people feel how things get hell-heaven different when phases and routines of life change. College sweetheart doesn't tempt enough in office and a boyfriend becomes alien when you move in together.
It happens because life and love is beyond good times, parties, lavish nights, and stretches to life with no makeup, tooth-pasted mornings and needs of daily existence. Spikes in relation are important and must be injected when needed. But never try to love someone on basis of spikes. People are normal humans, they will not stand below your balcony all night in rain with flowers in hand. It was done for a need. Don't base everything on aberration. Love the person beyond all that.
That ways LDR gives clear mind to think, feel and know what a person is to you. Does he/she have a place no one else can fill (okay cliched sentence) or was it out of a reversible impression which fades with time. Whatever it is, in real sense, LDR is good to judge the base of it. It will perish if it wasn't meant to be, and if it is, then you will be much more convinced about it. Its a fear as all verdicts are. LDR is almost like opening your case in court, you will lose or win, no more putting it on back burner.
Dude, heard of that one, no?
If you love something, set it free
if it comes back, its yours,
If it doesn't
it never was!
~from my favorite author Richard Bach
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