It
must be something else. Not really a crisis…it needs a stronger word...
I mean crisis is a daily word…financial crisis, population crisis, even
food crisis. This situation is not usual... it’s not a daily thing, not
even monthly or yearly. It is once in a lifetime. Correction, first in
lifetime and hopefully once!
It’s
a calamity. It is the feeling of sheer waste. I must be thinking a lot,
or too hard. I can simply overlook it, or dissolve in a party or dilute
in a trip or mix with a drink…I can even splurge it out in a shopping
spree or burn it out in gym. I have done all of that. It helps of
course. It helps big time. It keeps mind off them but cannot take it
away. I have reached the spot slowly. The spot of bog and one can only
get drawn in…Yes I am being pulled.
This
pulling is time bound ok…You can’t take your own sweet time to escape.
You can’t take a nap or wait and chill. You have to attempt to break
away. I am not sure you can break out. But how does that knowledge
help…A drowning man will try to swim; whether he knows swimming or not
is barely relevant.
It
must be a sudden change of city, or stepping out of college, or fear of
coming pressure, a relationship, or pressure of long term alliances. It
maybe all of them. These are the usually identified parameters. Happens
to all, or best of us.
You
start feeling restless over why is everything just fine. You start to
feel just fine when you are in too much chaos. It all happens and you
look back and wonder where it started. I should have been borne earlier,
or later, or in some other time and other place. I decide I plan to
blame my country for this which makes us feel lost in transition.
Come
on. Be on one side. Be developed or not. Be traditional or modern. Be
new or old. Don’t just keep us hanging cluelessly. I don’t know or seem
to currently care about the opportunities waiting to be tapped and
growth machine and power. I don’t like this. Hanging in between two
Indias. Times of India campaign was good…because it was so true. There
are two India’s…the catch is country can have two sides, a person can’t.
There is no responsibility of handling a personality or guilt of not
performing par expectations.
Relative
grading sucks. I realized that, like most, once I brushed past the
college grades. But it doesn’t leave you. Its dark color that leaves a
mark no bleach can dilute. You are too old for few things and few young
for other. Too outward in few concepts yet too backward to handle them.
Too educated for few things and too obsolete for others. I doubt if our
folks knew the dilemma of being under qualified for some and
overqualified for some. It’s never just right. Execution is so important
it seems...you have to hit bang on at the line...else it doesn’t work.
Whatever
I do, whatever I want to do, whatever I aspire to be….all needs
precision of time, city, people, things, situations…I knew variables
were hard to fathom!
I thought there is always a scope of linear programming in life…turns out it’s only about conditional probability!
…If
you come today, it is too early, If you come tomorrow, it is too
late...Your time is running out…TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK…
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