A quarter of Crisis...

XXX/46 forever
XXX/47 all my life.

These signatures and tags will come every year and then these forever chanting souls will get lost in the forever loop of things. If you are just graduating and think you know that these were the best years of your life and that your life is never gonna be as much fun or same ever again you are right. Just that you have no idea in how many ways it is going to be changed.

Did you hear of that guy who fucked up out of no reason in his job, or that girl who kept on screwing over and over again with everything that mattered the most. You remember that distant story of a certain someone who fought for some things and when they were this close to getting it, they suddenly didn’t want it any more. We all have.

Difference is you will be those people now. You will have no idea when amidst discussions, deliberations, instinct and practicality, you will be them.

You will argue you want this thing now so you don’t care for future; you would argue you want to plan things so won’t succumb to the ‘nows.’ You would argue you are unsure of things so you just do what you do. You would say you know what exactly you want and so, you just do what you do.

Crisis.

All crisis will arise out of unrest for not doing things which we think we deserve... or deem fit for ourselves.

An ever sadist boss, cluttered lonely bad city, suddenly naggy parents, arbitrary incompatible partners.

There will be no work for few and they will feel rusted and unutilized…an empty mind is devil’s workshop. One thinks of the futility attached to life then, and how it is going to be so forever...and then it gets to be a loop of exasperation of what when and how to break free from this loop. Is it you or job or is it how its normally supposed to be...

There will be people who will always be travelling, meeting on airport lounges, shuttling cabs, greeting good morning to morning guards at office and good night to them again the next day and wondering who is better off and thinking why are they doing this but not getting enough time to think it through.

There will be people who want to do something, create and start but due to lack of ideas, burden of loans, shortage of money or all, never start anything. Few think forever and live with the void as they progress from one EMI to another and from one lack of idea to another lack of clarity...

There will be Delhiites who will come to Bombay and post messages about bad traffic, long travelling, marathi language, gujarati food, slums and expensive rents and how they are in shit hole. They crib but realize finance has tied them to the maximas city

There will be Delhiites who will come to Bombay and post pictures of mad weekends, mid week bump parties, Long weekends to Goa, khandala and Lonavala, drives and unending coasts. They find peace here and just get married to the sea!

There will be people who will be homesick and visit hometowns each month. Who will have calendars, holiday lists and flight bookings open in front of them all the time and have account of long weekends, clubbing holidays and anticipated strikes, elections etc. for expected holiday...

There will be people who will not visit home because it leads to blank discussion with folks for sorting life, settling down, getting married, or plain realization of how everything is same; you have changed...

There will be people who will move closer to their partners and realize things are different, college changed them in more than one way...Something is amiss...There will be people who will move farther than their partners and fight long distances...Something is new, few succumb; few survive, few become indifferent...

Nutshell, you will look back and realize your downfall from clear minded to confused, mature to messed....unsure of everything... 'have-arrived-top 5 percentile of India'. You can't decide as you don't know what you want, you don't know what you want because you are confused.

You drink or work or party or read, or escape or erode, accept being shallow or impulse, subscribe to circumstances or become circumspect...have too many choices that you can't decide...so you secretly hope things happen in a away that there is just one way out... No decision, no choices, no imposing. One way, one journey, just one outcome.

This and much more...

~ Welcome to dark side
~ Quarterlife crisis andozz..or has the mid of life shifted???
~ You can run you can hide but you can't escape
~ We are first set of generation experiencing this, no googling help
~ Fridays are Fridays, despite working Saturdays

Hold tight, it begins in a 3.... a 2....a ONE.