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Once for a lifetime is forever

I think I have more clothes in my wardrobe than I remember buying or possessing. I am told, just like my sister is, and for that matter, just like 90% females are, that I have just too many clothes. What if buying of clothes came with a clause that they have to be worn forever? Thankfully, clothes are perishable. They can’t last forever so such fears don’t block mind. But what with things that may last forever? Would we want to have them?

I find it scary. If I am told that the color I chose for my bedroom wall will remain so forever or that the first car I buy is what I will carry all my life, I would probably not get my room painted..or at least not have a say in choosing it.

I got this realization by two incidents in life that happened recently. One was my cabmate getting married and the other was my cell phone. As for my cabmate getting married, she suddently got her marriage fixed to her consistent boyfriend of an year or two. She is getting married in a month, less than that. Its 11th Jan 2009. She digested it pretty well. I could not. Come-on, dating someone, having a boyfriend is fine, its different. But marrying? It is like changing the whole dynamics of your life. It is scary..Isn’t it? I realized why…Because it is Forever (conventionally speaking in Indian point of view)
That decision is forever and now I know why marriage needs mental preparedness and state of mind, or why people feel nervous and anxious before getting married.

Second realization came from my cell phone. Prepaid phone, it was the last day of my validity on Dec 14. To recharge, I had an option to get it recharge for 3 months or for cheaper value, get a lifetime validity. I could not come in terms for the lifetime validity. I realized why I used to look down on people who had lifetime validity (Duh!) I thought its like a chain that ties you up..Not for a month, a year or more. It is forever.

I donot mean to say that such tied-up-ness for life is abhorring to me. It is just scary. Ironically, we humans eventually look, rather yearn for lifetime alliances. All things like Nostalgia, pining, yearning, come from the same root of wanting a life time association.
I am reminded of a small Hindi couplet my mom tells me often

It is a poem of a pitcher that is being lowered inside a well to fetch water. The poem depicts how the state of mind of pitcher changes as it is being lowered inside. At first, it thinks that it has been tied on the neck and getting suffocated by the whole set up. But once it reached the bottom, it realized that it is all dark and unfamiliar. The only thing saving it there was the rope! The same rope it detested some time back was his hope now. The poem goes like this:

“ Phansi si hai padi gale mein,
Neeche girta jaata hoon,
Baar baar is mahakoop mein,
idhar-udhar takrata hoon...

Neeche-oopar tam hi tam hai,
Bandhan hi bane avilamb yahan,
ye bhi samajh mein nahi aa raha,
gir kar jaoonga mein kahan”

As per the poem, we people, out of habit, tend to repel ant thing that ties up..but it can actually be what you needed in life.

I am unsure if what i want to deduce is that lifetime things are best avoided or that they are things that need to be chosen with utmost care. Both ways, the weight of decision is huge.

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